Shadowlight's Lighthouse

Meanwhile, on Earth-8... (in honor of Sweetnfat's birthday tomorrow)
February 20th, 2010
Current Location:Metropolis, Kansas
Exterior. a sunny Late afternoon in Naoko Park. Five ninjas in traditional black garb are surrounding and menacing a small girl in a Girl Scout-like uniform, who bears a shoulder satchel filled with rectangular boxes.

Ninja 1: Look, girl, just hand over the Girl Scout Cookies, and we'll let you go.

Girl: ...but these aren't girl scout cookies. They're sailor scout cookies!

Ninja 1: Like I give a fig what brand they are. Cookies are cookies.

Girl (outstretched right hand, spreading fingers) Red... Star... Power !!!

Suddenly, the girl is an archetypal humanoid shape, floating in mid-air, surrounded in a corona of mottled multi-colored light. Background music: ooooOOMwhaOOM

Ninja 1: Aah!! Naked middleschooler! Avert your eyes!
Ninja 1: (to Ninja 2, staring in shock) ... Earl, so help me, if you don't avert your eyes, I'll freaking stab you.

The Girl poses dramatically, her transformation complete, she now wears a red, blue, and gold costume with a headband/tiara, a ruffled miniskirt, and a stylized 's' medallion.

Girl: Thieves of cookies promised to paying customers, beware, for I am Sailor Krypton, protected by the shattered planet Krypton, and in the name of its red sun, Rao, I will punish you!!

Ninja 3: Did you say, 'shattered planet'?

Girl: Yes, but I possess all the power and knowledge of its civilization at its height!

Ninja 3: cheerleaders for dead worlds don't impress me. C'mon, guys, we can still beat her!
Other Ninjas (brandishing nunchaku) : Yeah!

Girl: I warned you. Krypton...Phantom Zone...Exportation! (Her hands are extended towards them, inner wrists touching, palms spread, and a wide angle beam of strange light shines from between her hands. Everything it shines on is rendered in photographic negative, and as she sweeps it around and over each ninja, he fades away. )

Exterior (?) a negative universe of swirling nothingness. and five puzzled ninjas.
Ninja 2: uh, Carl, where are we?
Ninja 3: ... I don't know, Earl. I don't know.

Webcomics Nonillustrated, Part Eight: Love Hurts
July 24th, 2009
Current Music:"Hey There, Delilah", the Plain White T's
Panel 1: Judy Dear is slumped against Sally's chair, the crossbow bolts still sticking out of her back. Sally has a shocked expression on her face, looking down at Dear.
Sally: You killed her!! You bastards! oh, wait. werecat. right. ...but even so.*
Dear (tiny cursive) I'm all right. It's fine....If you'll excuse me, I think I need to powder my nose...
Sally: uh, yeah, me too

Caption: *Author's Note: Sally's finely honed werewolf senses can distinguish types of werecreatures by the distinctive smell of their blood.


Panel 2: Sally follows Judy as she staggers down the hall (leaning against the wall for support but also leaning forward slightly to suggest continual momentum) ...

Panel 3: ...and is right behind her when she opens the door to the bathroom, which contains a Bulk-size jug of antiseptic and an assortment of surgical tools, including the type of pliers used to pull out bullets.

Dear: (tiny crisp print) Sally, if you'll be so kind to help? These feel like they'll come out better from the back.

Sally: Sure. So...crossbow bolts?

Dear: (tiny crisp) not as fun as bullets.


Panel 4: Dear is leaned forward onto the sink basin, facing the mirror, while Sally uses the pliers to carefully pry the first of the quarrels out.

Sally: Look, Judy, I know I've only known you for two hours, so if you tell me to keep my snout out of this, I'll respect that, but while we're alone, I have to ask--

Sally: Why do you put up with this?


Panel 5: view from mirror, looking straight at Judy's face, (which wears a slight smile, with arched eyebrows, despite the blood trickling from her mouth) Sally behind her, glancing up with her hands still on the pliers.

Dear: (tiny, crisp) Sally, you're a Changer, so I know you can keep a secret. Can I tell you something in the strictest confidence, just between us girls?

Sally: sure.

Dear: (tiny crisp) When Marvin first got his curse, he was terrified of what he was becoming, of his animal nature coming out, of hurting me. So, I showed him that he _couldn't_ hurt me. You see, changers of my generation didn't change in public. It just wasn't done. If I'd turned into a big jungle cat right in front of people, well... they would've run in panic, or called a zookeeper! but, this? It might shock people, but it's not a threat to anyone. It's a quiet way of showing I'm more than what I look like. Ever since, this has been our little game, the way we show we're not afraid (of each other, or ourselves), that we love each other the way we truly are. ...and I have to admit, it's kind of exciting, not knowing when it's going to happen or what form it will take.


Panel 6: Living room. Panda is now sitting on the couch that Marvin and Mal are still standing next to. They all look at a loss for words.

Caption: Living Room...

Panel 7: As in Panel 6

Marvin: ...so, Pluto's not a planet anymore?

Mal: I was surprised, too.

Panda: It turns out there's a whole swarm of them out there. Let Pluto back in, and you'd need to let in all the kuiper objects, and whatever's out in the Oort Cloud.

Marvin: hm. That'd be hard to write a song about. Nothing rhymes with "Oort".

Panda: ...yeah.


Panel 8: Back in the bathroom, Sally is pulling free the last of the quarrels.

Sally: So, this is some big, kinky trust exercise? It's not really abusive at all?

Dear: (tiny, crisp) Oh, sometimes we'll get mad and use it to get out our frustrations. Most couples fight. We mostly just dismember each other... but if Marvin thought for a minute he'd really hurt me, he'd stop on a dime.

Sally: huh. ...do you have tweezers? I think some of this one broke off inside.


Panel 9: a few seconds later, Dear (still bent over) is handing Sally the tweezers.

Dear: (tiny crisp) So, you and Mal don't have any understandings like that?

Sally: Me and Mal?? Hell, no. I'm not dating him. He's a vampire, for Christ's sake!

Dear: (tiny crisp) I've seen mixed marriages work.


Panel 10: Close-up of Sally staring intently into Judy Dear's wounds, as she picks around inside with the tweezers.

Sally: *sigh* This might take a little while.

Dear: (tiny crisp, off-panel in direction of her head) Some things do...

Sally: Forget it, Judy.


Panel 11: Living room. Panda is looking up attentively at Marvin, who is bent at the waist towards Panda, holding one hand out towards him, fingers outstretched, palm down; and grinning widely as he talks. Mal, behind them, has his head back and eyes clenched shut, roaring with laughter.

Caption: ...a little while later.

Marvin: so then the cabbie looks at Sammy DelRubio, then he looks at Mal, then he looks back at me and says, 'I don't know what you guys've got, but I'm hosing this whole cab down with bactine as soon as I get back to the garage!'

Mal: HAH-ha-ha-HA!!
[note to letterer: The transliteration of laughs into print is, as you know, a treacherous science. One might say it's simpler to put in a cloud of "HA"s in various sizes and call it good. Then again, I don't have a letterer, so I had to put something.]


Panel 12: Marvin's attention is snagged by Dear, fully recovered, stepping into the frame. (Mal has stopped to catch his breath and dry his eyes.)

Panel 13: Close-up of Marvin's ear. Dear's lips are near it, parted slightly.

Dear: (tiny, crisp) Marvin, darling, no more crossbows. They give me splinters. Sally was forever getting them all out.

Marvin: (tiny, crisp) oh! Yes, dear.


Panel 14: Dear, smiling serenely, stands next to Marvin, who looks over at Mal, who looks pleasantly surprised.

Marvin: Hey, Mal-- you want to buy a crossbow? It's slightly used, but I could let it go for cheap.

Mal: wow! Seriously??


Panel 15: Marvin is now reaching for the crossbow, abandoned just beyond the panel in the direction of the wall and mantlepiece. Dear has rolled her eyes in a bemused expression. Sally pokes her head into the panel from the direction of the rest of the living room and looks at Mal with annoyance, as he does to her. Panda ducks his head down to stay out of this.

Sally: Mal, so help me, if I so much as feel the wind of one of those bolts flying past, I will nail you into your coffin with no cellphone for a week.

Mal: Yeah, I hear you, Sally.

Sally: Listen and remember, bloodsucker.


Panel 16: Sally is gone again. Marvin has resumed his previous position (from Panel 14), except now he's holding the empty crossbow. Mal looks at him ambivalently.

Mal: I..i'll think about it.


Next time: the Epilogue. probably.

Webcomics Nonillustrated: Part 4: A New Bloke
July 11th, 2009
This one's kinda long, so I'm putting it in the comments. It's not sexually explicit, but it's... somewhat explicit. horror-comedy. might count as fanfic, of a tv show I never saw. attempts to find video footage suggest that a local live tv series from the 1950s probably was never recorded to film in the first place, meaning it's impossible for me to have seen it. This is, in any event, a 're-imagining' (like Tim Burton calls his fanfic) It's not Shakespeare, but at least I'm writing something.
Our story picks up a few hours after Part 3, with Steven (a human version of Panda) and Sally (in human form) sitting on opposite sides of Mal (as a huge blob of black energy covered with red eyes ala' 'Hellsing'! ok, no, actually he's also in humanoid form) in Mal's living room...

Comment by me: so, apparently comments have a maximum length. hrm. ok, I guess I'll post it as a new entry, and hope the Adult Content setting will do what my lj-cuts never do.