Shadowlight's Lighthouse

Webcomics Nonillustrated, Part Eight: Love Hurts
July 24th, 2009
Current Music:"Hey There, Delilah", the Plain White T's
Panel 1: Judy Dear is slumped against Sally's chair, the crossbow bolts still sticking out of her back. Sally has a shocked expression on her face, looking down at Dear.
Sally: You killed her!! You bastards! oh, wait. werecat. right. ...but even so.*
Dear (tiny cursive) I'm all right. It's fine....If you'll excuse me, I think I need to powder my nose...
Sally: uh, yeah, me too

Caption: *Author's Note: Sally's finely honed werewolf senses can distinguish types of werecreatures by the distinctive smell of their blood.


Panel 2: Sally follows Judy as she staggers down the hall (leaning against the wall for support but also leaning forward slightly to suggest continual momentum) ...

Panel 3: ...and is right behind her when she opens the door to the bathroom, which contains a Bulk-size jug of antiseptic and an assortment of surgical tools, including the type of pliers used to pull out bullets.

Dear: (tiny crisp print) Sally, if you'll be so kind to help? These feel like they'll come out better from the back.

Sally: Sure. So...crossbow bolts?

Dear: (tiny crisp) not as fun as bullets.


Panel 4: Dear is leaned forward onto the sink basin, facing the mirror, while Sally uses the pliers to carefully pry the first of the quarrels out.

Sally: Look, Judy, I know I've only known you for two hours, so if you tell me to keep my snout out of this, I'll respect that, but while we're alone, I have to ask--

Sally: Why do you put up with this?


Panel 5: view from mirror, looking straight at Judy's face, (which wears a slight smile, with arched eyebrows, despite the blood trickling from her mouth) Sally behind her, glancing up with her hands still on the pliers.

Dear: (tiny, crisp) Sally, you're a Changer, so I know you can keep a secret. Can I tell you something in the strictest confidence, just between us girls?

Sally: sure.

Dear: (tiny crisp) When Marvin first got his curse, he was terrified of what he was becoming, of his animal nature coming out, of hurting me. So, I showed him that he _couldn't_ hurt me. You see, changers of my generation didn't change in public. It just wasn't done. If I'd turned into a big jungle cat right in front of people, well... they would've run in panic, or called a zookeeper! but, this? It might shock people, but it's not a threat to anyone. It's a quiet way of showing I'm more than what I look like. Ever since, this has been our little game, the way we show we're not afraid (of each other, or ourselves), that we love each other the way we truly are. ...and I have to admit, it's kind of exciting, not knowing when it's going to happen or what form it will take.


Panel 6: Living room. Panda is now sitting on the couch that Marvin and Mal are still standing next to. They all look at a loss for words.

Caption: Living Room...

Panel 7: As in Panel 6

Marvin: ...so, Pluto's not a planet anymore?

Mal: I was surprised, too.

Panda: It turns out there's a whole swarm of them out there. Let Pluto back in, and you'd need to let in all the kuiper objects, and whatever's out in the Oort Cloud.

Marvin: hm. That'd be hard to write a song about. Nothing rhymes with "Oort".

Panda: ...yeah.


Panel 8: Back in the bathroom, Sally is pulling free the last of the quarrels.

Sally: So, this is some big, kinky trust exercise? It's not really abusive at all?

Dear: (tiny, crisp) Oh, sometimes we'll get mad and use it to get out our frustrations. Most couples fight. We mostly just dismember each other... but if Marvin thought for a minute he'd really hurt me, he'd stop on a dime.

Sally: huh. ...do you have tweezers? I think some of this one broke off inside.


Panel 9: a few seconds later, Dear (still bent over) is handing Sally the tweezers.

Dear: (tiny crisp) So, you and Mal don't have any understandings like that?

Sally: Me and Mal?? Hell, no. I'm not dating him. He's a vampire, for Christ's sake!

Dear: (tiny crisp) I've seen mixed marriages work.


Panel 10: Close-up of Sally staring intently into Judy Dear's wounds, as she picks around inside with the tweezers.

Sally: *sigh* This might take a little while.

Dear: (tiny crisp, off-panel in direction of her head) Some things do...

Sally: Forget it, Judy.


Panel 11: Living room. Panda is looking up attentively at Marvin, who is bent at the waist towards Panda, holding one hand out towards him, fingers outstretched, palm down; and grinning widely as he talks. Mal, behind them, has his head back and eyes clenched shut, roaring with laughter.

Caption: ...a little while later.

Marvin: so then the cabbie looks at Sammy DelRubio, then he looks at Mal, then he looks back at me and says, 'I don't know what you guys've got, but I'm hosing this whole cab down with bactine as soon as I get back to the garage!'

Mal: HAH-ha-ha-HA!!
[note to letterer: The transliteration of laughs into print is, as you know, a treacherous science. One might say it's simpler to put in a cloud of "HA"s in various sizes and call it good. Then again, I don't have a letterer, so I had to put something.]


Panel 12: Marvin's attention is snagged by Dear, fully recovered, stepping into the frame. (Mal has stopped to catch his breath and dry his eyes.)

Panel 13: Close-up of Marvin's ear. Dear's lips are near it, parted slightly.

Dear: (tiny, crisp) Marvin, darling, no more crossbows. They give me splinters. Sally was forever getting them all out.

Marvin: (tiny, crisp) oh! Yes, dear.


Panel 14: Dear, smiling serenely, stands next to Marvin, who looks over at Mal, who looks pleasantly surprised.

Marvin: Hey, Mal-- you want to buy a crossbow? It's slightly used, but I could let it go for cheap.

Mal: wow! Seriously??


Panel 15: Marvin is now reaching for the crossbow, abandoned just beyond the panel in the direction of the wall and mantlepiece. Dear has rolled her eyes in a bemused expression. Sally pokes her head into the panel from the direction of the rest of the living room and looks at Mal with annoyance, as he does to her. Panda ducks his head down to stay out of this.

Sally: Mal, so help me, if I so much as feel the wind of one of those bolts flying past, I will nail you into your coffin with no cellphone for a week.

Mal: Yeah, I hear you, Sally.

Sally: Listen and remember, bloodsucker.


Panel 16: Sally is gone again. Marvin has resumed his previous position (from Panel 14), except now he's holding the empty crossbow. Mal looks at him ambivalently.

Mal: I..i'll think about it.


Next time: the Epilogue. probably.

Webcomics Nonillustrated, Part Six: Someway, Somehow... (not so much indecent as just long and silly
July 14th, 2009
Current Mood:amused strangely accomplished
Establishing shot (night, full moon) of a ranch-style house and cypress trees, with a marshy pond filled with flamingos in the foreground. Caption reads: "The Jobblewocki's Flamingo Ranch/ Citrusville, Florida"

Panel 2: Interior. Marvin (looking the same as my ill-gotten userpic from the 1950s) and his wife (prim, young, blond, June Cleaver-ish) greet Mal, who is standing in the open front doorway, as well as Sally and Panda, standing behind Mal. Sally looks confused.

Marvin: "Mal! Golly, it's been ages, hasn't it? You look great!
Mal: "Thanks. I try to stay out of the sun. It causes wrinkles."
Marvin: "You remember my wife, of course? Dear, these are Mal's friends, Sally Black and Panda Sapien. "
Dear: (in teensy tiny faded cursive print) 'assorted greetings and pleasantries'

Panel 3: The personae have stepped inside.
Marvin: "Mal, can we get you something to drink?"
Dear, with a slight smile, holds her forearms out towards Mal, wrists upward.
Mal: "No, I'm good."
Marvin; "Anyone else? I've got some Jonestown Cola in the fridge."
Panda: "No, thanks. The bubbles and the cyanide bother my stomach."

Panel 4: a spacious living room furnished in an art deco, early 1960s style. In the background, Mal and Marvin chat comfortably, while Dear looks on contentedly from a few feet away. In the foreground, Sally, now irritated, glares at Panda, who is sitting next to her and shrugging.

Sally: What the hell?? This is Part 6? Where was Part 5, and how'd we get here?

Panda: You skipped Part One, so I skipped Part five.

Sally: Yeah? Well, Part one was three lines. I'm guessing Part Five must've been a good deal longer. So Marvin and his wife are still alive, huh?

Panda: Sure, why not? There's no comedic potential in them being dead.

Sally: They're the same age they were 60 years ago! Care to explain that, for those of us who missed the epic Part Five?

Panda: Well, as weres, they're magical creatures--

Sally: No. I'm a werewolf. We age. You've seen my grandfather. Try again.

Panda: Clean living, healthy lifestyle, and using every product exactly as directed could--

Sally: Eternal Life through Pepsodent and cannibalism? Weaksauce.

Panda: Summer Daydream?

Sally: That's Dounsbury. Mal's only entitled to weekly delusions and two 15-minute psychotic breaks per day, neither of which should be diverting me from my busy schedule.

Panda: Ok, they were put in cryogenic suspension by the Witness Protection Program for ratting out the Broccoli* crime family.

Caption: *(pronounced 'bri-COH-lee').

Sally: the Broccoli crime family?? Who are they? Why do they want Marvin and Dear dead? Since when does the Witness Protection Program have technology like that? or was all this explained in Part Five?

Panda: No, Part Five just drops cryptic hints. It's actually all revealed in 'Marvin & Dear #0'. It's, umm, highly collectible, so there might not be any left by the time you get to the comicbook shop.

Sally: Convenient. You're digging yourself a hole here.

Panda: *sigh* I know, but you have to do that to build a foundation.

Caption, bottom right: to be continued in Part 7. (no, really this time)