shadowlight (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
shadowlight) wrote2017-04-21 12:28 am
shadowlight) wrote2017-04-21 12:28 am
Entry tags:
- mal,
- marvin&dear,
- panda,
- sally,
- silly
Greycleaner H (is for Hear Me Roar)
Webcomics Nonillustrated, Part Seven: A Woman's Place...
July 16th, 2009
Panel 1: the Jobblewockis' living room. maybe ten minutes after Part 6. Sally is sitting next to Panda, and still irritated. Behind her, Judy Dear is coming out of the kitchen with a large platter of cookies in her hands.
Sally: and, honestly? As a feminist, I'm offended that Mal's brought in a character that personifies the mute, Stepford perfect, abuse-sponge housewife stereotype.
Panel 2: Judy Dear is standing next to Sally's chair with the platter, looking at Sally, who is holding up her hand, palm out, as if to block the cookies from her sight.
Dear: (teensy faded cursive print) pleasantries, offering of refreshments?
Sally: No, sorry. none for me.
Panel 3: Close-up of Dear's lips, parted slightly, next to Sally's ear. What we can see of Sally's eye indicates surprise.
Dear (in teensy but black, perfectly crisp Times New Roman, all in one balloon):
Listen, Honey, I've known your friend since Eisenhower was President, so I'll put up with a certain amount of your attitude, but you should be aware that I take gunshots to the chest just for fun, so don't think anything you can dish out will scare me. It's all well and good that you work outside the home and support yourself, but while you're here, you will show respect for me and my family, or I will happily and very discreetly kick your ass, if that is what it takes to show you exactly who is the Alpha Bitch around here. Understand?
Panel 4: As in Panel 2, except Judy Dear is standing a bit straighter, Sally is smiling, eager with pleasant surprise. Sally's hand is now pointing down at the cookies. Panda, apparently oblivious to all this, is reaching out for a cookie.
Sally: ok...understood. and, on second thought, may I have a cookie? ma'am?
Dear (teensy cursive): of course, dear. help yourself. they're fresh baked.
Panel 5: Meanwhile, across the living room, Mal is standing with one foot up on the arm of the sofa, his elbow resting on that knee, his head turned to look at Marvin, who is taking a loaded triple crossbow down off a wall rack just above a mantlepiece.
Marvin: I got this for home defense. You can't be too careful nowadays. Is it true, everyone's supposed to have a Zombie Survival Plan now?
Mal: eh. They're good to have, but I know some zombies at UA* that really aren't all that bad.
Caption: *UA=Undead Anonymous, a support group for the reanimated
Panel 6: Marvin is showing the triple crossbow (which happens to be pointed towards the other end of the room) to Mal, whose eyebrows are raised in admiration.
Mal: That's a beauty.
Marvin: Yeah, the trigger is a bit sensitive, but it sure has a lot of punch!
Panel 7: Judy Dear, Sally, and Panda all gasp. Sally and Panda's eyes are fixed on the three bloody crossbow bolts protuding from bleeding wounds on Judy Dear's chest. In the background, Mal and Marvin look over, embarrassed.
Sally: JUDY!!
Sounds: FWIP! FWIP! FWIP!
Sounds: Splunch! Spploonch! Sppliinch!
Marvin: whoops.
Caption: to be continued in Part 8 (as soon as I finish writing it)
July 16th, 2009
Panel 1: the Jobblewockis' living room. maybe ten minutes after Part 6. Sally is sitting next to Panda, and still irritated. Behind her, Judy Dear is coming out of the kitchen with a large platter of cookies in her hands.
Sally: and, honestly? As a feminist, I'm offended that Mal's brought in a character that personifies the mute, Stepford perfect, abuse-sponge housewife stereotype.
Panel 2: Judy Dear is standing next to Sally's chair with the platter, looking at Sally, who is holding up her hand, palm out, as if to block the cookies from her sight.
Dear: (teensy faded cursive print) pleasantries, offering of refreshments?
Sally: No, sorry. none for me.
Panel 3: Close-up of Dear's lips, parted slightly, next to Sally's ear. What we can see of Sally's eye indicates surprise.
Dear (in teensy but black, perfectly crisp Times New Roman, all in one balloon):
Listen, Honey, I've known your friend since Eisenhower was President, so I'll put up with a certain amount of your attitude, but you should be aware that I take gunshots to the chest just for fun, so don't think anything you can dish out will scare me. It's all well and good that you work outside the home and support yourself, but while you're here, you will show respect for me and my family, or I will happily and very discreetly kick your ass, if that is what it takes to show you exactly who is the Alpha Bitch around here. Understand?
Panel 4: As in Panel 2, except Judy Dear is standing a bit straighter, Sally is smiling, eager with pleasant surprise. Sally's hand is now pointing down at the cookies. Panda, apparently oblivious to all this, is reaching out for a cookie.
Sally: ok...understood. and, on second thought, may I have a cookie? ma'am?
Dear (teensy cursive): of course, dear. help yourself. they're fresh baked.
Panel 5: Meanwhile, across the living room, Mal is standing with one foot up on the arm of the sofa, his elbow resting on that knee, his head turned to look at Marvin, who is taking a loaded triple crossbow down off a wall rack just above a mantlepiece.
Marvin: I got this for home defense. You can't be too careful nowadays. Is it true, everyone's supposed to have a Zombie Survival Plan now?
Mal: eh. They're good to have, but I know some zombies at UA* that really aren't all that bad.
Caption: *UA=Undead Anonymous, a support group for the reanimated
Panel 6: Marvin is showing the triple crossbow (which happens to be pointed towards the other end of the room) to Mal, whose eyebrows are raised in admiration.
Mal: That's a beauty.
Marvin: Yeah, the trigger is a bit sensitive, but it sure has a lot of punch!
Panel 7: Judy Dear, Sally, and Panda all gasp. Sally and Panda's eyes are fixed on the three bloody crossbow bolts protuding from bleeding wounds on Judy Dear's chest. In the background, Mal and Marvin look over, embarrassed.
Sally: JUDY!!
Sounds: FWIP! FWIP! FWIP!
Sounds: Splunch! Spploonch! Sppliinch!
Marvin: whoops.
Caption: to be continued in Part 8 (as soon as I finish writing it)